The Hopeful Soulmate
by Lunaandtwilight07
Summary: The end of the war is approaching, not that Regina knows that, all she knows is that her whole life has been blown apart. Little does she realise that a series of complicated events have led to this moment, to this telegram she received, and maybe not all is as it seems, but will she be made aware of this before she does something stupid that she can't ever take back? (WW2 OQ AU)
1. Chapter 1

The letter dropped from her hand, floating to the floor like a feather caught in the wind, she felt as though the breath had been taken from her lungs, that the light had been taken from her world and she was left in a land surrounded by darkness with no air.

Her bottom lip trembled as her legs wobbled, threatening to give way below her, her heart had been ripped from her chest and crushed to dust and she felt hollow, as though she had been emptied of any emotion whatsoever. That one note had destroyed her whole life, her whole future had crumbled around her and there was nothing she could ever do that would fix it, no matter how hard she could try, there was no way she was ever coming back from this.

She stared straight ahead, not moving, not even blinking, simply staring at the wall and willing it to fall on top of her, crush her, make her feel something, or remove her from her consciousness, anything was better than her current state. She was numb, the life had been drained from her body, how was it that three little words could have such a big impact on someone's very being. Three small words could hold such power.

Her legs weren't going to support her much longer, she could feel herself swaying and then suddenly they just collapsed under her and she let out a pained scream before burying her face into the grass of the lawn and sobbing. It wasn't happening, it couldn't be, there had been promises made, surely that counted for something, a promise. You couldn't go back on a promise.

Then the tears began to fall, streaming out of her eyes against her will, soaking up into the earth below her, she couldn't hold them back, couldn't stop herself from crying so much, because her life was over, that was it, she had lost everything, lost her reason for living, lost her hope.

She still couldn't breathe, her lungs struggling to take in the air she needed, not that she wanted to be able to breathe, she wanted to just stop to let it all be over so she couldn't feel this massive ache in her chest where her heart had once been before it had been torn so cruelly from her, she could never express in words how much it hurt, she was surprised how quickly the initial numbness had given way to this torturous pain, something that hurt more than anything in her life ever had.

She smacked her fist against the ground and continued to just cry and cry, she didn't know what else she could possibly do, this was the end for her, it was all over.

How could she live with herself? How could she live with the pain? The pain of knowing that she would never be able to feel anything joyous in this life. The pain of never being able to hear that beautiful sound of laughter, see the way his face lit up just from seeing her, never have him as the voice of reason in her head as the one who was always there to keep her sane.

How could she live with the pain of knowing that she would never hear his voice again, his beautiful British accent, never be able to see his bright blue eyes, his dimples, never smell that wonderful forestry smell that she pretended to hate but secretly loved? How was she supposed to go on without him? He was everything to her, he kept her going when everyone else had given up on her, he was the one person who truly knew her.

What was she supposed to do? There was no happiness left in this life for her, not now, he was the only happiness she had ever known, her reason for living and now, what was the point? Oh how those three words could change someone's whole life, send them in a downward spiral to somewhere they never, ever, wanted to have to go in their life.

She rocked herself on the floor, her face now buried into her legs as her tears seeped through the thick material of her dress, the quiet cries soon increased in volume until she was just wailing, not bothering to even try and stop herself. She was in so much pain and the only thing ringing though her mind was that it couldn't be true, it just couldn't be, she couldn't accept that.

With a sniffle she looked at the piece of paper beside her head and picked it up, shaking her head violently, how could they send this to someone? How could they just say it like that, no personalisation, no nothing, as though it meant nothing, as though his life meant nothing. He was a person, a wonderful, beautiful, amazing person and he deserved more than what was in that telegram, she liked to think that she deserved more also.

They didn't care, why would they, he was just another pawn in their stupid game, one of the hundreds of thousands that had already been reported already. She screamed and tore it apart, ripping the paper and throwing it, they didn't care about the pain, the destruction, all they cared about was money and land, their greed overpowering their humanity.

All they could say was that they 'regretted' to inform her, that wasn't going to bring him back, no number of pathetic attempts at apologies, attempts to justify the situation would make her feel better, make what had happened better. She looked to the pieces and saw that those three words were still intact, 'killed in action'.

* * *

 _Three weeks later…_

"You're wasting away," her mother admonished, pulling the curtains back, allowing light to stream into the room, something that caused Regina to groan and close her eyes as she curled closer to the pillow, hugging it to her. She had locked herself away and refused visitors, refused to eat, she couldn't, she physically couldn't eat without throwing it all up once she remembered again.

"Good," she husked, not turning to look at the older woman, instead she pulled his pillow towards her and hugging it tight as she stared at the ceiling.

"Regina get up."

"Don't touch me," she snapped.

"You look gaunt, you need to go outside and get some fresh air," Cora walked across the room and opened the wardrobe, causing Regina's eyes to snap away from the ceiling and towards her mother.

"What are you doing?"

"I think it's time…"

"Put them down!" she shouted, moving to stop her mother from touching his things, but falling to the floor because of her lack of energy and sheer exhaustion, "don't touch those," she cried, "just get out of my house."

"You are starving yourself to death!"

"That is the point," she breathed.

"You foolish child, pull yourself together."

How could her mother possibly be so insensitive? How could she not sympathise with her about what she was going through, did she not care? Apparently not, she wanted to get rid of his things, throw them away as if they meant nothing as if they were never here, as if he was nothing and he had never been here, but he had been and his possessions told her that and her mother wasn't taking them from her, she had no right to touch them. This wasn't even her mother's house so she had every right to be angry at her coming in and trying to take away his things, the only things she had left of him.

"Put that down!" Regina yelled managing to stand up and grab the green jacket out of her mother's hands, "this doesn't belong to you! It's his!"

"Well he isn't going to be wearing it anymore is he?"

Regina held it to her, "it doesn't mean you can take it from me!"

"He's never coming back Regina!"

"Don't you think I know that?!" She cried loudly burying her face in his jacket before looking up at her mother, "don't you think I miss him every second of every day! That I can even breathe without it hurting?! Because I can't! I lost my soulmate! The one person who meant everything to me! I loved him with everything I am and now he's gone and I am never going to see him again! So, don't you dare tell me I don't know he's gone! Because I do know! I'm reminded of it constantly and I don't want to live anymore! I can't live without him!"

She slipped his jacket on, it was massive on her, bigger than it had ever been on her as she wore it often, usually when they had been to a dance and left late at night meaning she was cold and he was quite eager to keep her warm, saying that he wasn't risking her coming down with hypothermia or something she would laugh at him and shake her head, insisting that she would be okay, but still the gentleman that he was, he wouldn't stand for it and she would have his jacket on and his arm wrapped around her as they found their way home in the dark. What she wouldn't give to have that again, to have him surrender his jacket to keep her warm, to hold her close and promise to never let her go. A promise he broke.

"Regina, I am taking you out of this place," Cora tutted, grasping her daughters arm and letting out a shocked gasp, "you are emaciated."

"I don't care."

"Well I am your mother and I care very much."

"Leave me alone! Please leave me alone," she buried her face in the material of his jacket, the jacket she could probably fit inside of three times over now in comparison to before when it had been closer to two.

"You are coming home with me Regina, whether you like it or not."

"No I'm…" her mother suddenly pulled her, "let go of me! Mother! No! I don't want to, I don't want to go!"

"Berkeley!"

"No! No! I want to stay here! You can't force me to go with you!" she screamed, trying to hold onto anything as her mother's butler lifted her with apparent ease off the ground and began carrying her, per her mother's instruction. "I don't want to! I want Robin!"

"Robin is dead Regina!" the older woman shouted, picking up a picture from the bedside table and taking it with her as they headed towards the town car that was waiting outside. "You are going to have to come to terms with that."

How was she supposed to come to terms with it? She never would, she would have to live out the rest of her life alone with the knowledge that the other half of her, the holder of her heart was never coming back, was gone from this world for the rest of eternity. And she was going to have to live with that, her soulmate was dead and there was no happiness left in this life for her, not anymore, not ever again.

* * *

 **TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

Robin's head whipped to the right as he heard gun fire, thinking on his feet he dropped to the ground before rolling underneath a thicket, the thorns pricked at his skin, scraping and nipping him, almost in protest for his intrusion. He didn't mind so much about those, what were a couple more scratches to add to the ones he already had?

He'd made a promise and he was going to keep it, not even this war could keep him from her, he wouldn't let it, that might be selfish, so many others had fallen, but he just knew that he wasn't ready to give his life for his country, not when it wasn't his to give, his life belonged to her. It had tortured him having to sign up in the first place, but he knew there was nothing else he could do, he had no other choice, there wasn't an option as to whether you signed up or not, that was what conscription was about wasn't it, to rope in every bloody bugger and wipe them out one by one.

She was the one thing keeping him alive, keeping him sane, thinking about her, about returning to her and their life. That was what he was focusing on now as he heard twigs breaking under heavy boots, whoever was in the woods clearly didn't know how to track properly or at least make sure they weren't located by the enemy, which if he thought about it was him.

Unfortunately, he'd run out of ammunition days ago and the gun he carried had only slowed him down so he'd buried it, the last thing he wanted being someone who did have ammunition finding it. An armed man was a dangerous man, as was a desperate one, he'd seen too many who let that kill them, they rushed out without strategy and got slaughtered in the meantime.

The Normandy landings being the worst he'd played witness to, the nightmares had plagued him for months afterwards, they still did sometimes, seeing men with their limbs blown off had shaken him to the core. It had been a massacre and they were the targets.

That had been where he lost his military tags, one minute he'd had them and the next he hadn't. The chain must have snapped or something, but it was now lost on that sandy beach. He knew what that could mean, he might be reported as dead, but he'd hadn't had the chance to let his superiors know that he wasn't, because his enemies had made chase and he'd had to retreat so far, he had no idea of how to return to his military crew.

He was separated from them, trying to stay alive alone with no clue about what was going on back in sunny old England, no clue about his wife and how she was. He had a horrible feeling that she might think he was dead, that maybe they had sent her notice that he'd died on that beach. He needed some way of contacting her, but sending a letter could be dangerous and was virtually impossible at the moment.

He just hoped it wasn't too late when he got back home, he hoped she wouldn't have given up faith that he'd return to her, he'd promised her that he would and he never broke his promises.

He waited until all was quiet in the woods before venturing out. He needed to move on and make some ground way before night fell, the forest was a dangerous place at night, you couldn't see anything so you had no clue what was under foot.

Once he was back out in the open he looked at the tracks that had been left by the solider and shook his head, they must be really stupid not to cover them, anyone could easily follow them, trace their footsteps. They must be either really brave or really foolish.

Robin found a stick with branches and leaves that hung off before heading in the opposite direction to the men, his main aim was to get to a harbour and then maybe he could find a ship that was England bound and stow away upon it.

His priority was getting back home, returning to his wife, even though he knew he should have probably tried to find his men, but the only thing he could think about after what he'd been through was seeing his beautiful Regina. His arm was badly sprained, he'd tried to make sure it was supported but all he had were the clothes on his back, any other possessions had been left with the senior officers. He was just glad for his outdoors experience and ability to find food, despite that, he was still feeling that hunger, his stomach felt empty.

Finding some berries that weren't poisons he continued, he would prefer to get out of the wood before nightfall, the thing was though he didn't know how far it would be and the only thing he had that was helpful in the slightest was the compass that Regina had given to him the day he left, saying that if he ever got lost he would always be able to find his way back to her, boy was he glad for her thinking on the matter, otherwise he would be completely at a loss as to where he was going.

Once he knew where he was walking he opened the back of it, looking at the little picture that was slotted inside, stroking a finger over her face, "I'll be home soon my love, I promise," he breathed, closing the compass again and picking up the pace. He didn't know what state the war was in, he could only hope that the allies had managed to gain some kind of leeway, was it too much to wish that maybe whilst he had been away from civilisation that the war was over and he'd just missed the news? He doubted it.

Little did he know the allies were one step closer to winning the war, Paris had been liberated soon after D-day. He was growing ever closer to being able to go home to be with his wife. Hopefully he wouldn't be too late.

* * *

Regina glared at her mother as she tried to force her to eat the food in front of her, how many times did she have to say that she wasn't hungry, that she could still barely stomach anything more than a light cracker. Who did he mother even think she was? How did she manage to get so many rations in the first place to hold such a dinner? Everyone knew that there was only limited food available.

She was sick of this day in day out and her mother refused to let her return to her own house as much as she might beg. She just wanted her own bed and things that reminded her of Robin.

The radio was playing quietly in the background and she tried to tune into what the commentator was saying, it was something about the war again, it always was, there had been another plane crash the night before, although what difference did that make? London was already blown apart.

She was sick of this, of the mindless killing, just dropping bombs left right and centre without any consideration on as to who they were killing. She looked up in realisation, she knew what she needed to do, she needed to keep her mind off it and think about something else. At the minute she was still in denial, she wouldn't believe what they were telling her, she just couldn't, there had to be some explanation for it.

Not only that but soldiers were almost constantly being shipped home from France with the most horrific injuries, she daren't even think what some of them might have been like on the front. The hospitals were always calling out for more help, they were over capacity and didn't have enough staff to deal with that, so why shouldn't she help?

On that thought she took a spoon full of the stew that was in front of her, if only to appease her mother and stop the constant pestering she endured from her, "I'm going to go and work at the military hospital," she stated casually watching as her mother practically dropped her spoon.

"I don't think so young lady," she cleared her throat, taking a sip of her water from the crystal tumbler, "that isn't a place for you."

"Why ever not? I'm a trained nurse, why shouldn't I want to help people and make them better? What use am I here? I have worked in that environment before mother," she scoffed, watching the reluctance play across her mother's face, not that it was her decision or any of her business for that matter. She had to be strong, try and push past her grief for the greater good, it would be one hell of a struggle but she had a feeling that having something to do would take her mind off the earth shattering pain she was enduring.

People told her that it would get better in time and that was what they continued to say, but that just didn't seem to be a reality because it most certainly wasn't getting any better, in fact the ache in her chest was worsening the longer and longer she went without seeing him, even if she knew she most likely never would again. "I want to do this and I think that it might be goof for me to get out, this house is suffocating."

Regina caught the eye roll her mother gave her as she shook her head, "I don't approve."

"And I don't need your approval, in fact, I am going back home, so I suppose I didn't even have to inform you did I," she stood from her chair, dropping the napkin onto the table as one of the butlers pulled her chair back for her, "I will pack my things and be gone before nine." Not giving her mother any more time to argue with her, she headed upstairs to pack her bag, this would be good for her, keeping busy would be good. She knew it would be hard and tiring, but she needed something like that, something challenging, she needed something that wore her out so much that she just passed out when she returned home so that she wouldn't have to thing about the other thing that haunted her.

She'd found that people had avoided talking about Robin at all costs, with the excuse that they didn't want to give her false hope, but she knew the truth, her mother had most likely ordered them never to bring him up in front of her. She needed some kind of meaning back in her life, she needed some self-worth and she felt as though this venture would be the thing to provide her with that.


End file.
